For most, welcoming a child into your heart and home is one of the most beautiful, joyful and hardest experiences you will ever endure. There is no power this world has to offer, no recognition the world has to give, that many would not trade to be parents. At Choice Network, we want to help carry families up the mountain of adoption to a place of peace. For first families, adoptive families and children we work with, adoption comes before them and behind them. With the knowledge of its goodness, it becomes their light.
Below are eight phrases we love about the goodness of open adoption.
Never ever.
Many times, people come to us believing deep down that they could never ever imagine having an open adoption. The truth is, many of our families had to experience a ton of pain before taking the path to adoption. Their heart is wrecked and they can’t imagine sharing the shambles with another. Or the path just simply hasn’t been straight and the bumps have bruised them.
By the time Choice Network has finished training our families, our goal is for them to be at a place of wholeness and healing so they can say “I could never, ever imagine a closed adoption. When I see with truth, I see that open adoption benefits my child, their first family and me”.
Take courage.
It takes courage to look past fear and be ready to love. Open adoption is love. It takes courage. It is the ability to say “I have and want to do this, no matter what.” What we know for sure is that what we give in this journey, we will receive. Give courage. Receive courage. This adoption journey takes courage.
Fear not.
In open adoption, there is nothing to fear. In fact, open adoption is our greatest gift to our children. Our biggest fear should be first families not having peace in their heart. We should never fear open adoption. We should fear secrets, shame and any past history untold that can harm our child. What they don’t know, the world will show them. So tell them all they need know and tell it with love and total, complete honesty.
No victim.
Some of our families’ biggest fears is that their children will be a victim of their adoption. They have incredible fears for themselves and their child’s first families. “Poor me, poor them or poor her” is a story we hear often. We celebrate the journey though. Open adoption is about reviving and restoring the knowledge that greater things will come. Knowing that we are not a victim. We are whole, healed, free and open. We see the beauty in the journey and we appreciate it.
Choose love.
It is true that love can conquer so much in adoption. We need to give it freely and often. We have to love so hard that we balance the pain involved in a bond of a mother and child breaking – a bond broken for us. Love. Love. Love. In all things, choose love.
Be willing.
Sometimes families just first need to be willing. Willing to be open. Willing to hear what open adoption can bring. Willing to hear the research that demonstrates the benefits about open adoption. Willing to really see our child’s first family and want only good for them. Willing to say “Without peace in their heart, I cannot move forward”. Willing to see adoption is hard, but done well it can be a beautiful thing. Simply be willing to say “Here I am. Teach me, show me. I am ready to be vulnerable and ready to do what it takes to adopt and do it well.”
THIS good.
Peace in everyone’s heart makes you look back and say “I never knew adoption could be THIS good.” Adoption is richness. Adoption is healing. Adoption is truth. Adoption is grieving. Adoption is good.
Hope is alive.
And in the end, hope is alive in open adoption. I love hope. I love when first families and adoptive families give themselves permission to hope. I love bringing hope in this work. Hope is real. Brokenness is restored. In adoption, hope is alive.
To recognize National Adoption Month, Choice Network is sharing why open adoption brings more love and joy to children, first families and adopted families than you could ever imagine. Now, more than ever, it’s essential for families to open their hearts and homes to adopting an older child.
Learn more about National Adoption Month and the story of our Choice Network champion, Buneka: http://bit.ly/2z4e05l.
Molly Rampe Thomas is founder and CEO of Choice Network, an adoption agency that trusts people and their choices. The agency is on a mission to change the definition of family through supported open adoptions, no judgment abortion conversations and active parenting resources and counsel. For more information, visit choicenetworkadoptions.com
