Choice Network believes that families are meant to stay together. When a pregnant person comes to us for help, we offer them ALL options – open adoption, abortion and parenting. Each option comes with its own set of triumphs and challenges. When a pregnant person decides to parent, we spend much of our time and power helping them create plans, identify resources and connect them with support systems so they can best parent their children.
Even with the proper support system, parenting is one of the hardest things someone will ever do. We use four steps at Choice Network to arm both our employees and our expectant parents with the tools and resources to succeed.
Step one: For people choosing to parent, it is first most important to hear them. To really listen to gain a deep understanding. The reality is, we come from different places.
Our employees at Choice Network carry privilege. We do. We have support systems and resources that many of our pregnant people don’t have access to. If we are facing an unplanned pregnancy or hard time, we can call on our family for help. We can ask our family and friends to give – both their time and money. We have the resources to drive to a health care facility to get the best care – I could go on and on. To truly help pregnant people who want to parent – and do our jobs well – our first step is to understand our place of privilege.
Step two: Next, we need to get creative with resources. It didn’t take long in this work to know that resources for pregnant people and families are rare and fraught with issues. Nothing comes easy. This means we need to get creative. We don’t just give a pregnant person a phone number to call. This means we are with them every step of the way – we advocate for them. We use the privilege we have for good.
Step three: Step three is to wrap the pregnant person with a support system. This system might be other pregnant people who have learned to parent successfully and have pushed through the challenges. It might be a local church, abortion clinic or family center. It might be a local shelter. It might even be my best friend who I think would have good advice for them! Support systems and having a tribe are essential to success.
Step four: The work is never done. Step four is offering life-long support. At Choice Network, we know trauma is real. We offer people who choose to parent the same therapy we offer people who choose abortion or adoption. All people deserve to find peace. That peace helps them to become good parents.
Families are meant to stay together. Families are meant to have the support and resources they need to be together. Families are meant to have the people in their life they need to keep together. And all families deserve peace in their hearts.
Molly Rampe Thomas is founder and CEO of Choice Network, an adoption agency that trusts people and their choices. The agency is on a mission to change the definition of family through supported open adoptions, no judgment abortion conversations and active parenting resources and counsel. For more information, visit choicenetworkadoptions.com.
