We’ve seen and heard a lot about the incredible Simone Biles this week. What an amazingly strong, athletic, young Olympian. Ultimately, that’s what she should be known for. Headlines such as: Sports Commentator ‘Not her Parents’; Triumph over Tragedy: Simone Biles Childhood Hell Uncovered; The Olympic Gymnast who Overcame a Drug Addicted Mother show us the world craves more though. As a parent to two children, both through the beautiful gift of adoption, and a fierce advocate for Choice Network, our adoption agency, this enticed me to weigh in.
There’s been a lot of negativity toward Simone’s birth mother surrounding drug addiction and losing her children. In a world where women facing crisis pregnancies are blanketly told not to do this or to do that and that no matter what their choice is, they will suffer, who wins? Who wins in a situation that we deem to be our own when it is not? Do we win? Do you win?
We can easily say Simone’s mom is a terrible person. But where was society when she had her first drink or took her first hit that eventually led to her addiction? Where were we when she stole for the first time - most likely to get her the money to get high? Where were we when she, possibly high, found out she was pregnant? Where were we she needed help, needed love, and had no one or nothing else to turn to? We were living our own lives - right? Where were you?
Choice Network taught me to look at the world through this lense. A lense that does not score others. Everyday they counsel women who are facing unplanned pregnancies on all of their options because they deem women strong enough to know their own story and make their own choice based on their reality. At night, Choice Network staff go home to their stable homes and husbands and healthy kids - to their own lives. They recognize the privilege in that. The power in not living in crisis. So when they meet with women, all judgement is left at the door. When they met with my son’s mother’s, judgement was left at the door. Their heart was fully open and present. They taught to me do the same. They taught me … now I challenge you.
So how do you train to be a champion?
I can say with 100% conviction that I love and absolutely adore the birth parents of my children. My heart is fully open and present for them. Ultimately, if it weren’t for them, my family wouldn’t be my family. I am a champion for them. Be a champion for birth mothers with me. Like a GOLD medal champion!! Instead of holding judgment; hold love, grace and empathy for them.
So yes, in these crazy times, I challenge you to choose love, choose grace and choose empathy. And to choose to not need “more to the story” but rather enjoy the GOLD in people. A champion knows that what you give, you get. How cool would it be if we loved more, graced more, filled up more … we got more love, grace and empathy in return?
Tonight, when Simone Biles’ gold medals flash across the TV, smile knowing she’s good. Like she said “there is no story here.” That she knows her adoptive parents are her real parents who raised her in love. Her birth parents are her real parents who filled her blood with fight. And her life has trained her to be a champion.
Kim Rellinger, Guest Blogger for Choice Network
